Uncovering Decades of Injustice

Someone posted an interesting question on their Twitter feed recently: If you knew that 2020 was going to be spent in quarantine, what would you have done differently back in February 2020?

I think it’s a good question. It was certainly one that made me stop what I was doing to devote a little time to think about the answer. In my case, mid-60’s, retired, living in the country and home of my dreams with the love of my life, my answer was that I really wouldn’t do anything different, except perhaps purchase seeds or young plants for my garden. Other than that, I have been living the same life I had pre-Covid-19. I’d say my husband and I are extremely fortunate in the life we have and I believe he agrees with me. But I know that is not the case for most people in the world.

The scenes of illness and death, poverty, hunger, and discrimination that are currently visible have made most caring, empathetic people cringe with anguish. I do not blame myself for what is happening worldwide, I do my part locally to alleviate the needs of our closest neighbors, but I do have to admit that I am embarrassed to not have known or been curious about these kinds of injustices.

#45 is a bully. Plain and simple. We hear that his niece Mary is about to publish a book that will enlighten us to how he became the narcissistic personality that has endangered us all. Her credentials are solid. As an observer of human behavior who has a degree in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, I can respect the amount of time she devoted to her studies and the courage it took for her to break her NDA in order to help the rest of us make a more informed choice. Most of us accept that this entity did not win the popular vote but we also have to recognize that the margin of votes was not strong enough to allow Hillary Clinton to get the electoral votes she needed. All the worse for us and the world, frankly. But politics is what it is and we now need to concentrate on firing this guy and begin to heal the wounds that have been opened by his behavior but that we need to agree have been there for decades. I don’t know how so many decades could have passed before the victims of these injustices simply had enough.

Things are pretty hot right now, but we cannot lose hope or jump from this ship prematurely. There is always tomorrow.

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Remind in 15 Minutes…

 

The world of the SciFi writer has always intimidated me. I don’t believe I have the kind of creative mind that can conjure up these special worlds, write complicated stories about them, configure plots that back my protagonists into corners and then rescue them. It just seems so hard. I have always wanted to write literary non-fiction, stories with meaning and purpose rather than just stories to entertain. And yet, so many people simply write for entertainment’s sake even when the stories they are telling scare us, disgust us or make us laugh. I suppose the purpose of creative writing is that it has no real purpose except what the author wants it to have, which is to either make money or engage the reader. Getting a reader to purchase your book, and read it hopefully in one sitting is certainly a challenge that not every author can rise to.

But actually that is not what I wanted to write about here, this blog is essentially created by me to externalize my frustrations with my body, with lifelong dieting and deprivation and with my complicated relationship with my now-deceased older sister. These days of Covid-19 have had me truly in a meditative state. That notwithstanding, however, last week I seemed to have averaged 9 hours per day on my telephone (which doubles as a computer, I might add) a 42% increase over the week prior to that. I know exactly how and why it happened and it scares me.

Last week, we saw many protests around the murder of George Floyd. Adding to that was speculation about the number of people who were expected to attend 45’s rally in Oklahoma. Then the surge in deaths and numbers of Covid-19 victims in certain states. Added to that is stress about my own circle’s health, employment, restrictions, etc. I do recall that Twitter would let me know that I had reached my 30 minute self-imposed daily limit and that I asked it to “remind me again in 15 minutes” several times per day. Then I would go on Instagram. I confess that most of the stories were not new to me on either feed because I do not follow that many people. In addition, it wasn’t extra time that I devoted to writing and that makes me feel bad.

I have a huge challenge in my office that I am trying to sort out. I also have plans for my garden which have not been materializing because I have not been able to get to the nursery when I thought I could. I need to hang in there, as I so often suggest to the people who I write to on my Sunday blog. But I have a hard time following my own advice.

For the moment, I need to concentrate on maintaining my rhythm with my WW program by focusing on one meal at a time. I need to do what I can in my office in 15-minute segments, much the way I ask Twitter and Instagram to remind me. But mostly I need to remember that this crisis will eventually pass and that I will be emotionally, spiritually and mentally stronger and hopefully a few pounds lighter.

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So much confusion…

I’ve been agonizing about what to write today. I honestly feel like I want to just shut down everything, forget dieting, eat chocolate, drink wine, drink rum, just enjoy the heck out of life…and then I remember that I won’t feel good afterwards, and the moment passes.

Can you imagine what life must be like for people who have been discriminated against their entire lives? As an immigrant, I did face the occasional jerk who would call me an “alien” or “wetback” but since I knew that my family’s journey to the U.S. was totally legal, I never felt like I had to rise to the moment and answer back. I can’t begin to understand what I am learning now about how people were being mistreated. Professionals even, it just boggles the mind.

This week we learned of injustices behind the scenes at places like Refinery 29, NYTimes, Bon Appetit and it boggles the mind to even try to make any sense of the idea behind the mistreatment handed out.

I don’t feel like writing even though my mind is going a mile a minute and I could probably write something spectacular.

I am going to shut it down for today and enjoy my dinner.

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No Looking Back

In my last post on this blog, I asked about what the world will look like in 2021. I wrote that my world has not changed very much since the pandemic and its restrictions because I was mostly indoors anyway. But this week has held so many changes it is hard for my feeble brain to get around to documenting them all. This is not the intended purpose of this blog which is mostly devoted to health, weight and dieting, so I will focus on that for the moment.

I wake up each morning and the first thing I do is check my emails. Although I have long been retired from the remunerated workplace, I still like to keep abreast of the issues and I do subscribe to newsletters that deliver the news of the day. An hour or two can be spent reading material. Then I go to the pool to get my laps in (during the week) and by the time I step out of the pool 45 minutes later (lots of laps, slow swimmer), I have figured out everything that is wrong in the world at large and in my section of it and all the ways I can fix it.

I can’t fix anything of course and by the time I am finished with my breakfast, the real tasks of the day begin for me. I promptly forget all of the societal ills that had plagued me earlier and get on with my day. I write for a while. I do housework, concentrating these days on decluttering with real purpose. I take a few minutes to water my plants, contemplate the outdoors, make decisions for the week, etc. It is a very rewarding life and even though I sometimes believe myself the recipient of some lucky award, I know in my heart of hearts that getting to this point in my life has involved overcoming many real obstacles.

My recent weight loss journey has been very slow. My metabolism was never fast, even in my youth, probably a result of constant dieting. In the last couple of months, I have given up alcohol and chocolate entirely. I have restricted consumption of sugar and flour, limiting myself to an occasional teaspoon of sugar and one slice (or equivalent) of bread. I have seen slow but steady progress and that makes me feel optimistic that I might get closer to my goal by the year’s end. I am in no hurry, I am working towards lifetime changes not quick fixes that will result in regaining the weight and then some more. I know how it works.

The current situation in the U.S. with peaceful protests turning into opportunities for misbehavior by some sectors has made me think that there is almost no point in dieting when the world might not last. I slap myself out of that attitude as quickly as I can and return to the utopia that I like to imagine. Me at goal weight going into my closet with the hundreds of options and reaching for any outfit with confidence because I know it will fit. I had that life once and there is no reason for thinking I cannot have it again.

Onward and forward, as we say in Spanish…don’t look back, not even to get a second wind!

 

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