I am so glad I have this blog. I have another blog where all I write is inspirational. Today,
though, I just feel blah and it seems my inspiration has taken residence elsewhere right now.
This is probably okay, it will give me room to indulge the feeling of blah which I have rarely
allowed myself to do in my lifetime.
I’m the kind of person that everyone else looks to when they are feeling the blues, or the
overwhelm that life can sometimes bring upon us. They expect me never to have these
feelings, believing me immune to life’s challenges because I have made it my mission to
be the sunshine, the one thing that can be counted on to remain cool, calm and collected
despite external conditions that would defeat anyone. Most days, I am proud and happy
to rise to the occasion. Lack of sleep, anxiety about not being ready for an upcoming long
trip, worry about my children and the direction life is taking them has made me a stranger
to myself the last couple of days.
This morning, I woke up after a restless night and although I can feel the fatigue in me, I
am bolstering up my “fake” enthusiasm so that my daughter (herself facing life challenges)
does not add to her burden by taking on mine. It is easy for her to do, she is a lot like me.
So, I am glad for this blog, because even if not a single person visits it, I can vent and not
have the guilt factor that I’ve used one of my children or other family members as surrogate
therapists. That would be a terrible thing to have to remember at a later date. Sometimes,
it is best to vent anonymously, thanks to this blog, I can!
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It is hard to believe how much time has gone by since my last posting here.
I have been oh so very busy, like all of you, and of course the news around our
planet makes it difficult to set aside a little time for blogging. Alas, I am now in a
more relaxed frame of mind and decided to shout out to all of you.
The last few days have been sad for the world and our country. I flew back to the
U.S. on Wednesday, facing a more than 3 hour delay and lost luggage. Yesterday
I was reunited with my luggage and now all seems well. I am planning another
trip (cruise) very soon and I hope that it will allow me to put a bit of distance between
me and all the things that have been giving me a bit of anxiety in the last few weeks.
Washington is in turmoil. It is difficult to imagine that anything could get worse but
we thought that way weeks ago and it seems every single day forces us to confront
the enemy within our borders. It appears that the division in the country that has
been an elephant in the room no one wants to talk about is finally rushing in and not
allowing itself to be ignored any longer.
When I was a young immigrant (legal) I remember that one of the first things I did
was to learn to speak the language. It was a self-preservation instinct and it was my
understanding that the U.S. was one of the most open societies but that in order to
participate fully in all its aspects, one had to truly assimilate. You can’t assimilate if
you don’t understand the language. There are a myriad of opportunities that are lost
to you when you refuse to learn the language. I bring this up because I received a bill
in yesterday’s mail that had 21 different languages featured and needed an extra page
(paper waste) just to what? comply with the law.
I will never understand some things. Not learning the language of your adopted
new nation does not help anyone. I consider myself an open minded, intelligent,
educated person who believes that the open borders of the U.S. have been a gift to
the world but I am very worried when I see the anger that is now so evident due to
the resentment of those who consider themselves “owners” of the land.
Have a good weekend.
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