Monthly Archives: July 2018

Nothing’s changed, so my perspective needs to!

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Ten days ago, I blogged that the world was angry! Nothing’s changed in
the days ensuing this remark, in fact the fact that everyone is angry has
actually become even more apparent since I mentioned it. Going on FB
has become a challenge…I already can predict which of my “friends” will
be there and what they will say. I do have to sign on at least once a day
because I made a commitment to the FB community that I belong to that
I would share a couple of things on a daily basis in 2018. Thank goodness
it’s already the end of July…I can keep it going for another few months
and then make a life decision. Do I stay or do I go?

I have been looking into options of where to go on Social Media to get
the kind of interactions I want: non-political, compassionate, intelligent
conversations about where our world could be headed if we all decided we
are in this together and should really try to improve things.

Because of my age (60’s), I find that there are limited options because the
world at large still caters to the youth! Nothing wrong with that, I was a
youth once and in essence, still identify more with the young than with the
old simply because they are more involved and invested in making sure that
our planet survives. Still, I want to have real and important conversations with
people who have been around the block and have gone through some stuff.
Unfortunately, some of the sites for older folk that existed a few years back are
“parked” or “gone”…does that mean their founders are also? It doesn’t make me
feel so good but I will spend a good part of my morning searching.

In the meantime, if any “third agers” happen upon this blog and can offer some
ideas, please send them my way!

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The world is angry!

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I live in a small town. You know what they say about small towns: Big Hell!
Until recently, I was very content in my small town, living my life, enjoying
the odd social gathering and essentially knowing how my days would begin
and end. The last several months have been increasing my discomfort level
as I hear and see many acquaintances really get into the misery the rest of the
world seems intent on living.

My writing has always been a need for me. I cannot agree with people who say
they “love” to write, for that has never been my feeling. I need to write, I want
to write and get paid for it, but even though I don’t get paid for it, I still need
to do it every single day. Some days it is just a sentence in my head. Some
days I actually draft things out in a notebook the old-fashioned way, with pen
and paper and then I forget how important the particular prose felt in the
moment and I lose the paper, or the notebook until I am clearing off a particular
space and come upon it again.

The social media rants that I voluntarily read increasingly rob me of time and
energy and deplete whatever optimism lives in me; yet I find myself having to
really exercise discipline to sign off or at the very least, put my phone aside to
do other things. It is amazing, I rarely respond to posts even though many of
them stir deep feelings. I get a kick out of those who do because they often end
up saying things I am sure they regret. Not to mention getting “blocked” by the
administrators for offensive and crude language. I can’t entertain the idea of
ever being blocked so I simply do what many others do, read and move on.

I live in a small town that has a large quantity of expats. Although I lived in a
different country and learned its culture well, I am now living in my birth land
and identify more with it. I find that the typical expat (whether originating in
U.S., Canada, Europe, Asia or Africa) believes their new country is somehow
lacking and wants things to be just the way they were “back home”. This attitude
irks me but I remain silent because silence is the path to peace and understanding.

There are so many things that can be said about learning a new language, about
preparing mentally to make a huge move, especially when the one certain is that
wherever you go, there YOU are. I lived in Puerto Rico once. I do remember that
the absence of family and friends was a bit lonely, but it was also tremendously
liberating. I found that I developed some new (positive) traits by not being labeled
or thought of the way family and old friends can see and pigeonhole one. Rather
than wanting things the way they were in my past, I was thrilled to be living in a
completely different culture and learned to love it just the way it was.

I don’t really remember where I was going with this blog, but there it is. I guess
the lesson for today is that if you want to make a smooth transition into a place,
it is best to go gently and quietly into its spaces to first absorb and understand
and then to pitch changes if they are necessary or even wanted.

 

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Why Write?

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I have been describing myself as a writer for at least three decades.
I cannot say that I enjoy writing, it is more like a calling, an impetus
buried not too deep that makes me set down on paper many of the
varied thoughts that take a hold of my brain. I want to write a novel,
a story that follows closely the reality of my small town but one that
I could tailor so that no character would recognize him/herself in. I
am not sure that is at all possible.

My friends in the small writing circle I belong to are not all in the same
writing place. A couple of us (not including me) are quite far in the
quest to write the book, others of us are tampering with sentences and
one of us in essentially very new and shy about the process of writing
and actually sharing. I am not sure how our small group even got
started but here we are enjoying almost a second year of being together.

I don’t know how many of us “social media” followers are feeling as non-
excited as I am. Every day I open my emails on yahoo, aol and gmail and
I am disgusted by the many emails that begin with doom and gloom subject
lines. By this I mean, their titles are “Last chance” “Deadline approaching”
“Don’t miss this once in a lifetime opportunity”…to spend, spend, spend.
I realize that it is a marketer’s function to make sure even spirituality sites
find their “followers” at the shopping cart but I am frankly so turned off
by it that I have unsubscribed to many of the sites that I used to enjoy.

And don’t get me started with Pinterest! So I clicked on one sunset picture,
and you know how Pinterest makes you sign up after a click or two? Well,
I did and now it seems every single day, I receive a come on from Pinterest
telling me that they have found another 18 sunset pictures I can see. Does
anyone really know how to work an algorithm to improve these pitches?

Or how about Amazon sending me pictures of the same items I just bought
last week and asking me to buy them again? And on Facebook, let’s pick on
Facebook for a minute. The other day I uploaded for my “fans” a “Happy
4th of July picture and good wishes”. I posted it. It got a lot of “likes” but
FB now wants me to “promote” the post…see what I mean about the algo-
rithm…doesn’t the robot know that it is now the 6th of July and no amount
of boosting is going to get me more clicks for this once-a-year event? I try
to stay away from FB and that is probably going to be my decision for 2019.
2018 I made a promise to my followers that I would post a recipe and a flower
every day. Because I am the kind of person who says what they mean and
means what they say, I can’t see myself NOT doing it until December 31, but
after that unless something really radical changes at FB, I think I will be out.

A lot of people say these things and say “no more political stuff” and then you
see them being bad mouthed, or in a bad mood or poo-pooing just about
everything in life. What’s the point? Be a mood lifter, there are plenty of jerks
out there who can only see the black dot on the white sheet of paper. Who
needs more of those?

Thanks for reading this far! Have a great evening.

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July is here already!

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It’s the Fourth of July! Celebrations are going on in the U.S. but
where I live (in a tropical paradise), nothing seems to be going
on in quite the same scale as the celebrations of years past.

I feel a bit odd that one entire month (June) went by and I didn’t
post a single entry. It is not that I don’t write every single day,
because I do, it just hasn’t been the kind of writing that I feel
comfortable sharing. Not sure what that’s about.

My husband was away for almost the entire month of June. He
returned quite exhausted and seems to have caught a bug, maybe
on the airplane? I feel bad for him but in a way, perhaps it is best
to let him rest while I catch up on some of the writing that I have
put on the side so I could devote myself to doing the chores that
keep our household running and that he is usually responsible for.
A few more days won’t make any difference, the poor guy has a lot
of things on his mind.

So July! I have continued to have slow progress with my Weight
Watchers plan and I am confident that by the end of this year, I
will have lost most of the weight I have set myself a goal for. It
would be wonderful to begin 2019 (which feels like it is just around
the corner!) in some new clothes…

I have done some serious decluttering in June. I actually got rid of
a good amount of clothing and knickknacks that were not bringing
me any joy. It is amazing how light one feels after disposing of items
that no longer fit one’s life. I finally accepted that I was keeping things
for the wrong reasons. For example, a friend of mine gave my daughter
and me earrings that were crafted by her then-boyfriend, a man I know
and whose behavior has impressed me, but not in a good way. I never
wore the earrings because they were too long for my short neck and my
daughter never wore hers because they were not in a style she liked. But
I felt I needed to keep them because my friend might be hurt if I found
another home for them.

A few months after the earrings were given to us, my friend’s relationship
ended. The artist boyfriend began a new relationship and a year later, that
one also ended. Every morning, I saw the earrings. I moved them from one
side of the dresser to another.  I began to question why I still had them.
One serendipitous night as I was watching Youtube, I ended up catching a
video on Marie Kondo, the decluttering consultant…she has a very unique
way of approaching decluttering. You have to gather all the items you own
wherever you are working. You hold each item in your hand until they either
spark “joy” or not. If they still give you joy, that is your permission to keep
them; otherwise, it is best to find a new home for them.

I held each pair in my hands. Waited for the “joy” that never came. I made
two beautiful packages for these lovely items and then placed them with
other “treasures” I was giving away to the local Animal Shelter for their
fundraising campaign. It felt so good to send the earrings to a place that
I know will find someone they can bring joy to.

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