Every morning after I wake up and begin my morning routine of breakfast, making the
bed, going to the pool to do my daily laps, I say my verses (prayers, if you will)
and trust that the day will unfold slowly and without distractions so that I can sit
in front of my computer and work on my writing. With very few exceptions, by the
time I actually am ready to face the day – that is showered, dressed and ready to
go out should it be necessary – I have lost the inspiration and the words that seem
to have come so easily while I was swimming! I wish I had a waterproof gadget that
could record the wildly complete and good paragraphs that vanish into thin air as
soon as I touch real life!
On Sunday mornings, I usually devote a good 3 to 4 hours writing my “inspiration” blog
that reaches about 200-300 people in my community. Although I don’t always feel the
inspiration, I think of that Sunday blog as my “job”, a self-assigned task that I have
committed to and have written for about 9 years. I use those 3 to 4 hours reading other
blogs, answering or reading new emails, listening to all kinds of music before I actually
write my first sentence. But in all the years I have done the blog, I have not failed a
single Sunday, a fact that actually surprises me and touches a bit on the kind of personality
I have. I am nothing if not responsible and I know that there are people who actually wait
until they have received and read my Sunday message before they actually begin their day.
I know this because people have often written to tell me or they stop me in the street to
share this important fact. I suppose that my writing for myself (or my book) does not carry
the same urgency I feel about the Sunday blog. I think it is time to change that and make
it a daily part of my routine. I suppose that is why I am writing here today…just to get
into the habit of writing more often. In my mind I have no writer’s block, it happens just
as I sit to actually write…
image from Bing.com public domain
Whenever I think about my early childhood, say to about age 6, I remember it as
being idyllic. My parents had household help, my personality was such that I was
not scolded or punished often and I remember being able to play as much as I wanted.
The days of being bullied by an older sister (whom I think about often) had not
yet materialized because the housekeeper made sure that didn’t happen and I can
remember sitting on the grass on a sunny day eating a freshly peeled orange with
just the right amount of salt to make it taste even yummier! I can feel the sun
on my face as I sit with no important thoughts of tasks to be undertaken.
Everything changed when we went to live in New York, far away from family and
friends and certainly in no economical shape to be hiring housekeepers to take care
of us or household chores. Very quickly my life changed from one of being pampered
to being a latchkey kid with lots of responsibilities at a young age. I look upon
my childhood with a mixture of anxiety and nostalgia, blaming no one really but
hoping that one day I can write all these feelings and stories in a book that will
be worthwhile reading for my now-adult children.
My last post here was on February 19th! It seems like such a long time ago.
By this time, my friend has been cremated and brought back to his original
home in Spain. His brother came to our little town to partake in a simple
ceremony used to remember a friend who contributed so much to our community
in the time he lived here. I will miss him very much but I hope to be
inspired and energized by his passing without having achieved his dream of seeing
his film on the big screen to make sure the same does not happen to me.
I write in my head all day long, but then “real life” gets in the way. If I don’t
do the dishes, will anyone? I am at an age and space in my life when I no longer
have the tremendous physical demands on my body or on my time but I find that I
procrastinate more than ever…and yet I know the stories are in there, I just have
to FOCUS, SIT and WRITE…
Image Bing.com public domain picture