Tag Archives: weight gain

Day 1 Whole 30!


They (yes, those all knowing “they”) say that people who belong to committees or social groups, etc. quickly put on weight. I can only agree with this opinion/fact and have been able to prove it because it is almost impossible to resist the social atmosphere that exists in almost all the neighborhood groups I belong to!

Yesterday’s meeting began with greetings and refreshments. Yesterday was my first day on the second round of the Whole-30 for which I have been preparing for the last week. I took one look at the plate, drooled over the cake, caught a whiff of the freshly-baked bread and with unwavering discipline, quickly passed the whole thing to my closest colleague. So far by that point in the day, I had had an egg, fruit and coffee for breakfast, and a small serving of mahimahi with a salad. It was 4 p.m. the time I usually indulge in my afternoon coffee with a pastry. It was not to be. I instead enjoyed my cup of strong, black coffee which is actually no sacrifice since I have drunk my coffee that way for more than 40 years.

No one remarked or even noticed, probably because we had guests and there were many items on our agenda. The meeting lasted almost two hours, quickly followed by an equally long second meeting with a different set of committee members. Fortunately it was too late for coffee and too early for dinner so we just had our meeting and I went home.

My dinner on DaY 1 was a sweet potato with lots of ghee (clarified butter, to be more accurate) and a small salad, with a bottle of water. I can honestly say I was not really hungry. As my husband and I watched a couple of episodes of our latest BBC detective drama, I missed the ritual of the chocolate and wine and cognac!

I made myself a cup of herbal tea just before bedtime and slept soundly. When I woke up this morning (for day 2!), I was aware of Tony Robbins’ remark once (and I paraphrase) that nothing tastes as good as being healthy and looking great feel. I admit that is something that boosted my resolve this morning.

My trip to NY in the spring is another such booster. I have already started saving some pennies for what I hope will be a lovely shopping excursion, either for RTW clothes or some spectacular fabric.

Not a bad start!

pictures my own

More random thoughts on fat…


I have been thinking about the post I wrote yesterday. I wrote that I could say someone was fat because I am fat and know that we prefer to be called fat rather than overweight, etc. But when I woke up this morning, I realized that it’s not true…we would rather no one singled us out for description of any kind. On the other hand, I am a writer. That means that when writing fiction, or a screenplay for example, there are elements of a person’s physique that need to be described. If a character has a big nose, or crooked teeth and these are aspects which are somehow important to the development of the story, then they must be described as such. I am not sure what I am thinking is translating properly onto the written page but I am going to continue to write without too much editing. I don’t think there is much danger of lots of people visiting my page, it is an exercise that I do mostly for myself because it (blogging) is by far the easiest way to make sure I write every, single day.

My mother was always preoccupied with my weight. I have never felt it as much as I have in the past couple of years (probably because I weigh more than I ever have in my life!) and I see my mom every week as she lies on her bed and stares vacantly at her surroundings. My mother was fat during most of her life, although she did have a couple of successful encounters with Weight Watchers. She worried all the time about my weight and decided to go to Weight Watchers once herself so that she could force me to join her. I was only 15 at the time and really didn’t have the wherewithal to refuse. It was a very bad thing to refuse my mother anything, she could be very unpleasant to be around although at the moment it escapes me what particular thing she did to make
it so. Yell? Silent treatment? Physical violence? I really don’t remember because I mostly complied with her directives and kept her happy. But I digress.

Mom has been bedridden for more than 6 years. She has dementia. She is cared for at home because she was a very hard-working woman who was smart about making sure that when she retired she would have a steady source of income. She continues to earn her keep by living. I am glad she is alive. I love my mother beyond words even though our outlook on life and people were so different. Anyway, back to the weight thing which is on my mind constantly even though I have tried all kinds of ways to simply accept the fatness and move on. I went to renew my driver’s license earlier this week. They took my picture. I compared my picture to the picture they took 6 years ago, the last time I had to renew. 6 years ago was probably also 40 lbs. ago. How did this happen?

I am never hungry these days, probably because I rarely skip a meal or a snack. I would say my weight has been the same for the last 3 years and each morning I wake up with new resolve to have a “good” day. In the evening, I do enjoy a bit of chocolate and one or two small servings of cognac! Gotta be about 500 calories right there. In my opinion although there are no good or bad calories, calories are calories and whether you have “thyroid” problems or not, too few calories will make you lose weight and too many will make you gain weight. I need to give up something during the day so that I can indulge in my tiny slice of heaven in the evening. Today for example I ate a large croissant for breakfast with butter (not very much) and a tiny bit of jam. I just tallied an approximation of calories and it is about 600 since the delicious-tasting croissant was on the large size.

I am fat and I am very short and my metabolism (probably from dieting) has always been very slow. When I am in New York, I walk a lot and since I am mostly on my own, I find that I am too lazy or absorbed in other things to cook or go out for dinner so my eating (though healthy) does naturally scale down. My calorie intake is reduced and I am usually 5 lbs. lighter when I come home. I would love to blame my husband’s cooking on my weight gain, I would love to say I have a thyroid condition, I would love to say anything…but the reality (and I am good about facing reality) is that I have gotten older, it is no longer easy to lose weight and I have not been very diligent about portion control. My husband is already planning lunch, I am not hungry! I will not skip lunch but I think it will go in a different direction from breakfast. Perhaps a bit of cottage cheese and some vegetables. I am actually looking forward to that.

bing.com clipart




We recently entertained a couple in our home for a few days. When I weighed myself
(with one eye closed) this morning, I confirmed what I already could feel. I gained a
couple of pounds…

Last night while watching television, I was surprised and disgusted with myself for my
reaction to a rather large weight gain by one of the actors on the show who has
recently had a baby.

So, we have both gained weight. Objectively, it is not the end of the world. In my case,
I decided that I need to eat normally for a few weeks and hopefully get back to the previous
(and still too high) numbers on the scale. I swam my laps, so far have been ‘good’ with my
food and look forward to an afternoon and evening of normal portions and healthy food. The
actor will no doubt be able to get back to her exceptional figure by hiring a trainer and
someone who can make her food. I am not sure which of us is luckier…I guess I am, my
weight [problem] is not of interest to anyone but me. I feel for her as I can see my own
plump face reflected in pictures and mirrors, millions of people are watching hers.

Objectively, it is a question of accepting a reality and dealing with it. Subjectively, it
brings up more emotions and feelings than I can comfortably write about right now.