In telling her story, eating disorder expert Geneen Roth mentions that she once
wore the same dress for a while because it was the only thing that fit her. A few
days ago, I found myself with an almost equal dilemma. I have gained a bit of weight
again in the last few weeks and it seems to me, I am wearing the same two or three
pairs of slacks (thank goodness for the stretchy, yet elegant, fabric!) with different
blouses to make it through the week.
I don’t remember whether Ms. Roth encourages us to keep the scale or get rid of it,
but I have decided that for me, it works better if I keep it and get on it at least
every two or three days. Many years ago when youth was on my side, I could boldly
approximate whether or not I had gained weight by just how my clothes fit. These
days, it is not quite so clear and I was shocked to find myself at exactly the same
weight a few days ago that I was when we ended December 2014. During this year, I have
lost and gained the same 10 lbs. That had never happened to me before, I either lost
the weight or gained the weight but I have never begun and ended a year on the same
number. I am not sure if I should be happy or sad about this.
But back to Ms. Roth. Her writing is very inspiring. Her story is heartbreaking and
at the same time uplifting and she has been able to help many people who are suffering
from eating disorders. Her books have helped me too, but like other times, the help
was temporary; not because of her but because of where I have been in my journey when
her books and I come together. Today, I am feeling positive. I want to write about my
journey and peharps this daily logging that I am doing will make a strong habit in me.
After all, I would like tomorrow’s log to reflect what today’s will: that I was able to
eat normally and healthily.