Tag Archives: Edgar Cayce

Sibling musings


I have always had more than a passing interest in astrology, although this post is not going
to be about that. My interest was probably sparked by one of my mother’s comments when
dealing with anyone she didn’t quite understand. For example, if she found something dis-
turbing about a coworker, she might simply say: Well, of course, so and so is a Piscis, so…
I have devoted countless hours to reading about astrology but in a hobby sort of way, now
I am thinking of delving into it more profoundly.

My feelings for my older sister have always been complicated. I have never considered her
a “good” big sister, the one everyone else seems to have, the one that has your back, the one
that is a role model to admire, etc. No, I didn’t get that sister. My older sister is bossy, mean,
narcissistic and manipulative. And that’s just the beginning. We are both in our 60’s now
and have had periods of estrangement throughout our lifetime. Right now, we have not
spoken for over two years and I am hopeful that this will be the status quo for some time
to come. Sibling relationships are so very complex. I have a younger brother and sister also.
Perhaps because my brother and I are the “middle children” and share many of the same
values, we get along fine. My younger sister is also complicated for me but I feel I can handle
our relationship better. This brings me back to astrology. I believe strongly that we are born
into a family that meets all the criteria that we need to work out the various issues we have had
in previous lifetimes. It does not matter that you believe or not believe that, it is enough for me
that I do so otherwise the family that I was born into makes absolutely no sense. But I have
read a little of Edgar Cayce, Rudolf Steiner and others to know that coincidence is just not so.

In any event, getting back to my complicated relationship with my older sister. My mother
worked outside the home since before any of us were born. She was a woman of great ambition.
She vowed she would never be poor (as she was in childhood) and did everything possible to
guarantee that. She was very successful. When she passed away, she and dad had amassed a
small fortune, some property and with good management my father will be well provided for
until it’s time for him to go, which I hope is not soon.

My parents could not afford child care (indeed if that was even a thing in 1960’s New York).
They depended on their two oldest children, ages 12 and 9 to watch and care for the younger
siblings ages 7 and 4. It was up to us older ones to make sure the younger ones were picked up
from school and did their homework. We also had to start preparations for dinner so that it was
underway by the time our folks got home from work.  My mother went back to college to get
her Masters Degree because having it would move her up a few notches on the success scale
and add some necessary income. She excelled in these activities, unfortunately, she paid the
price in terms of time not spent with her kids.

I somehow always “got” the situation; my older sister (rightfully resentful) challenged every-
thing with senseless arguing (I didn’t ask to be born!) which caused me no end of stress. Since
I was more interested in peace within the family, I ended up accepting her outrageous demands
(You have to pick up so and so today, I’m going to the park with my friends!) and bullying.  These
days, the more I write about it, the better I feel that I made a decision (estrangement) that is at
last serving me and only me!

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Mind and Body Connection


I have always believed that there is a definite connection between our thoughts and illness.
It probably became ingrained in me by my mother’s unequaled directives when it came to
these things; she was a very educated and intelligent person and had no time to cater to her
four children while also trying to juggle the responsibilities of her career and education. So
if any of us ever felt “too sick” to go to school or carry out our responsibilities, she would
talk us out of it by saying that “It’s all in your head.” Since we were not rewarded by any kind
of pampering whether our illness was real or faked to get out of something, I learned very
early that I might as well just suck it up and carry on.

When I was a teenager, I became fascinated by the books on the “occult” that were available in
our local libraries. I probably ventured into those shelves because they were precisely the kind
of reading that was banned by the Catholic school I attended. Anything forbidden always became
more interesting to pursue. So I read all about Edgar Cayce, the mystic, and I began to explore my
own position regarding the things I read. I had so many responsibilities as a kid that reading was
one of the few escapes in my otherwise “work cut out for me” days. I am not writing that to elicit
compassion or anything, it is simply a fact. We are talking about more than 50 years ago! That’s
hard to believe, I still feel so young and vibrant.

Reading Edgar Cayce introduced me to new ways of thinking and I paid attention to my body
and its reaction to things. Funny, at some point in my early adulthood I stopped paying attention
to the sensations in my body and listened instead to the logic of my mind in order to escape situations
that were difficult or unpleasant. I now wonder if that led to a kind of detachment in me that is with
me this very day. I find that I don’t feel things as deeply as other people around me do and I wonder
if that is a good or bad thing. One thing I do know, however, is that my mind and body (and soul, I
suppose) work in tandem and when I am thinking good thoughts my body responds in positive ways.
When I am anxious or angry, I am prone to slipping or falling or waking up stiff from not sleeping
well. Fortunately, that very detachment I mentioned earlier keeps me on an even keel most of the
the time. When everyone around me is falling apart, I find that I can keep my head on and take care
of the things that require my attention. I have often been the source of comfort for people with whom
I share small and large responsibilities because they see a sturdiness in me that they don’t always
find in themselves. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to let go of some of my responsibilities
and float through my days the way I see many people do.

Some of the people I think float through their days in less than responsible manners, however, later
suffer terrible illness and early death and I suppose the prospect of not being healthy or alive might
be one vital reason I work towards being centered and worthy every day of my life.


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