I went to the hairdresser yesterday. My visits there are every 6 weeks to get rid of the gray
and sometimes also include a minuscule trim on my very thick and curly hair. The salon
is modest in size and decoration and not located on any trendy street in our small town.
It is wildly popular nonetheless. My time there is heightened by the socializing that is not
restricted to topics like the weather and activities in town. The owner/hairdresser gets to
glean gossip from her many clients but to her credit, vicious character assassination is not
one of her objectives and the conversation is always pleasant.
Yesterday the talk turned to politics since we are heading to a second round of voting due
to the fact that neither of our presidential candidates received the required 40% that would
have made him our leader for the next four years. There are so many people undecided and
admittedly neither candidate has won over the entire population but if we are to continue to
enjoy our reputation as a democratic (3rd world) nation, it is imperative we turn out in high
numbers and make the best decision possible for our country.
I made my decision months ago. It wasn’t easy because my original choice was involved in a
scandal, my second choice did not impress me when the debates began, and my third choice
(and current choice) did not win. Matters were not helped by the fact that we had 13 (yes, 13!)
aspiring candidates. Just too many. Our systems needs to be revamped but that is not likely
to happen any time soon.
It has been interesting to read comments on FB from people (relatives and friends) who I
respect, admire and love. I say interesting although I might actually mean “shocking”…some
of the comments have brought to light how people really think despite what their words or
education or traditions have been. To say I am disappointed is to touch on things just lightly.
I have been mortified by the extent to which stupidity runs in my own family. I suppose it
happens to everyone: someone you used to admire says or does something so unwarranted
as to lose your respect going forward. It has happened to me many times over the years and
yet I continue to be so naive. At my age, it is no longer excusable.
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My dad had an operation a couple of weeks ago and today was the day we needed to go
to have his stitches removed. He is in great condition and fortunately it didn’t take long for
the nurse on duty to take care of him. I watched with some apprehension, relieved that even
at his advanced age of 89, he is healing quickly and without complications.
In Costa Rica, we have license plate restrictions which prohibit us from entering the “city”
of San Jose on one weekday determined by the last digit on the license plate. My particular
restriction falls on Monday. It is not my favorite mode of transportation but the bus system in
our country really is quite reliable and covers most areas. Although it takes longer to complete
errands, it is very nice not to have to worry about getting around town. That said, public
transportation comes with its own set of problems.
Since I am not that savvy about the schedules and routes (and I place blame for that on myself),
I decided that taking the “express” or “local” bus would not make much of a difference. I was
very wrong in my assumption, something that will not happen to me in the future. Naturally, I
took an 8 a.m. bus. If you live and work normal hours in Costa Rica, then obviously you are not
going to be taking an 8 o’clock bus because by that time you should already be working. So I sat
back and relaxed because I knew that I had plenty of time to get to my father’s and then we could
call for a taxi to get us to the doctor. Fate would direct the most polite bus driver to be the driver
of the bus I was on. He let everyone go ahead of him in that horrendous traffic and nothing
seemed to faze him. I looked on admiringly, until I realized what would normally take tops one
hour was almost taking us two hours! I will be checking schedules and routes a little closer.
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I am writing tonight just to keep the momentum going for writing in this blog every day.
My day was wonderful, filled with activities but I am now so exhausted that rather than
the glass of wine I was planning to have, I am going to make myself some tea, get ready
for bed and then get into bed and see how long I can read before I fall asleep. Tomorrow
will be a day of leisure mostly as I have nothing planned for the day. Sunday, I get to
attend and work at a fundraiser!
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The sudden rain that fell on our tropical paradise was a huge surprise to us all.
It was also a welcome respite from the heat that had been with us since early this
morning. I sat on my terrace and watched (and felt) the changes in the atmosphere,
concluding with the gathering and dispersing of a rather large flock of small, black
birds. It was fascinating to watch and reminded me that life is made of moments,
moments that can be similar but never identical.
My guitar teacher is in the hospital. The sudden onset of Guillain Barré syndrome has
taken hold of his body and he went from being an active husband, father, teacher to
lying in a bed being taken care of. This mysterious syndrome has changed his life and
the life of his family in a minute…hopefully for a short time perhaps for a long while.
I have great faith in natural healing but from what I have been able to read, treatment
should be swift and involves more than teas and ointments.
These kinds of situations always make me glad that for the most part, I tell people what
I need to tell them when I can. He has been more than a teacher for me, he is my friend,
and I know he feels my support even though I am not nearby.
Do what you can when you can where you can and this way you can sleep a good night.
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I love discipline. That is one of the reasons that a proper “diet” works for me and
allows me to get creative. Last night, I over-indulged my sweet tooth a tiny bit and
since I did it with a couple of Baileys’s liquor filled chocolates, this morning I woke
up with just the slightest bit of a headache. Of course, it could have been that my
morning became chaotic soon after I woke up which often throws my day into a
One would think that by the time they got to be my age, little hiccups in plans would
not disturb one; sadly that is not the case. Before I even get out of bed most mornings,
I peruse one or two news outlets to see what has happened of import in the night. I got
lots of “bad” news this morning and I think the tone was set. Then our cleaning lady,
who is not often early, called (late) to tell me that she was having car troubles and would
arrive as soon as possible…she did arrive about 45 minutes later but that meant her whole
schedule was equally messed up and she was unable to wash windows! Yes, some people
still wash windows, thank Heavens!
A friend and her family asked late last night if it would be okay to come visit us today to
spend the day in our tropical paradise and enjoy our pool! On a normal day, I would have
joined them and would have made every effort to be the great hostess, but instead I just
let them come over and enjoy time on their own while I did the many things required of me
on busy days. It was fine and I was proud that I felt no pressure or guilt about being unavailable
for socializing. In fact, I am proud of me for not adding to my already stressed day.
They are gone now, I have finished all my chores and although the windows don’t look as nice
as I’d like them to, I can still see pretty clearly!
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Because the week is getting away from me and I probably won’t be able to write
very much until next week, I’d better get this done now.
I have been happily following along with my new WW program and I am delighted
to report that I actually do feel a little bit hungry. It is a good sensation that is causing
me to be a little more creative with just how I am going to spend my point. I have
become reacquainted with recipes that are delicious but healthy and I am hoping to
continue on this path. What’s to stop me? The scale is showing a decrease in the still
very large number and that is a motivator.
I am hoping for a great finish to the year and I am very excited to welcome 2018 with
lots of new projects that will hopefully be reachable.
My project of de-cluttering my body has evolved to include de-cluttering the many
clothes and magazines that I am no longer able to keep hoarding. Best wishes to me
as I continue on this path.
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I was never really into “dating”. I sort of fell into relationships because it seemed like the
logical next step after spending time with someone. My first marriage took place pretty
quickly after “dating” for a bit, lasted 8 years, produced no children and essentially taught
me many things about myself, most importantly my acting abilities. A really horrific one-
time incident of physical abuse ended that relationship and I gave up on the idea of true
love, dating, etc. I thought I would go back and live with my parents and take care of them
for the rest of my life with no plans to ever fall in love or remarry. But I digress from what
I really mean to write about in this blog.
Social media has changed the way we live our lives and dating is an area which has been
affected. Because I am an observer of human nature and a writer, I spend quite a bit of my
spare time reading about social media, dating, aging, etc. There are terms to describe modern
dating, like ghosting which is when someone you think you’ve been getting along with and whose
company you enjoy and vice versa, suddenly disappears from your life without a word. Something
like fugue … another new word for me is “stashing” which seems to be increasing more and more.
I need to get a dictionary of all these modern terms because I realize that my writing ambitions
will need to be updated to include these new ways of having a love life. But to get back to the term
“stashing”, that’s when you are dating someone seriously and they (and you, I guess) do not take
them to meet family or go out on double dates, etc. I think in my time, this did not have a name
but was practiced when one was going out with someone who was either married or engaged or
cheating or playing the field. Or when one was not really serious about the relationship or was
unsure of what one’s status was so it was not addressed. It seems so complicated and now that I
think about it, I was a “stasher” or “stashee” several times in my life after my divorce.
Life is getting more and more complicated. In my opinion, dating, love, marriage, child-bearing, etc. have become less a natural progression of growing relationships and more complicated than ever
before. Any thoughts?
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It is hard to believe how much time has gone by since my last posting here.
I have been oh so very busy, like all of you, and of course the news around our
planet makes it difficult to set aside a little time for blogging. Alas, I am now in a
more relaxed frame of mind and decided to shout out to all of you.
The last few days have been sad for the world and our country. I flew back to the
U.S. on Wednesday, facing a more than 3 hour delay and lost luggage. Yesterday
I was reunited with my luggage and now all seems well. I am planning another
trip (cruise) very soon and I hope that it will allow me to put a bit of distance between
me and all the things that have been giving me a bit of anxiety in the last few weeks.
Washington is in turmoil. It is difficult to imagine that anything could get worse but
we thought that way weeks ago and it seems every single day forces us to confront
the enemy within our borders. It appears that the division in the country that has
been an elephant in the room no one wants to talk about is finally rushing in and not
allowing itself to be ignored any longer.
When I was a young immigrant (legal) I remember that one of the first things I did
was to learn to speak the language. It was a self-preservation instinct and it was my
understanding that the U.S. was one of the most open societies but that in order to
participate fully in all its aspects, one had to truly assimilate. You can’t assimilate if
you don’t understand the language. There are a myriad of opportunities that are lost
to you when you refuse to learn the language. I bring this up because I received a bill
in yesterday’s mail that had 21 different languages featured and needed an extra page
(paper waste) just to what? comply with the law.
I will never understand some things. Not learning the language of your adopted
new nation does not help anyone. I consider myself an open minded, intelligent,
educated person who believes that the open borders of the U.S. have been a gift to
the world but I am very worried when I see the anger that is now so evident due to
the resentment of those who consider themselves “owners” of the land.
Have a good weekend.
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Although this is not exactly the graphic I felt was perfect for this post, it is the only one I can
put my finger on at this time. What I really wanted is not available to me and I wish for the
umpteenth time that I could illustrate because I know exactly what I want but I can’t draw it
and no one else will even come close to the picture in my mind…I don’t think I can learn how
to illustrate at this point in my life, so I will just have to assume my readers know the learning
I’m talking about is not necessarily book learning or technological learning, although those are
I suppose the kind of learning I am talking about is a little more amorphous, if you will. It does
not translate easily into structured graphs or codes…instead it is the learning that comes from
living each day in an awake state. An awake state means that in this world of bizarreness (because
what other word would describe where we are in the world today?), most middle of the road
humanoids can still separate what kinds of things are simply NOT acceptable conduct for human
beings. It is impossible to live a day when we don’t hear about really awful people doing truly
unspeakable things against their families, communities, employers, and they do not get called
on it. It is not possible that those of us (and I believe most of us are) who are ethical, honest,
persevering, optimistic, etc. can continue to stand on the sidelines as if current political and
human rights violations are being carried on as if it was okay. I believe that all of us can do at
least one small thing each day: from making sure our children don’t witness in us the kind of
behavior that they would later copy and not blink because this is the environment in which
they were raised. Think of the Trump kids. They are not aware their behavior is not right
because of the environment in which they grew up and their father before them and so on…
Not sure how many of my readers are political…the family currently in the White House
simply does not belong there. Things fall by their own weight and I believe it will not be
necessary for the common decent person to do anything more than simply wait it out.
There are strange men and women in those offices now. Something’s gotta give…
You know how after you read a mediocre book, you ask yourself, heck why did I spend money on that, I could have written it? Well, I ask myself why I never went into politics. Any clown can win, obviously, and I have always wanted to be a clown…no offence to clowns by the way.
I’m so scattered right now, as I am sure many of us are. There are real stories, fake stories, real stories about fake stories and fake stories about real ones…if you are not feeling the stress, then you are simply
not AWAKE…Set the alarm!
I will be mother-of-the-groom in a few months. The colors have been chosen and the styles are pretty much up to the individual and I love getting dressed up! However, I have not had any success in finding a lovely dress (and I do want to wear a dress) that will fit this gorgeous round body…so since I still have two months in which to try to lose a few pounds, I have renewed enthusiasm for it (weight loss).
My personality is the type that actually enjoys routine and following guidelines. I think that my recent (well, it’s been about two years) lack of discipline in the food area has caused not only a big weight gain, it has made me feel scattered and quite honestly a bit unhinged. I know that not eating and overeating have their roots in having to be “in control”. I get that it is not healthy to always want to control things but I also realize that the weight gain is a terrible thing for a woman of my height, age and desire to wear some of the pretty clothing currently still hanging in my closet. Decluttering has brought me face-to-face with reality: I will never get back to a size 6 nor do I want to, the food sacrifices were really too much; but a size 12 would be nice and very realistic. It’s funny to realize that when I saw my picture at size 12 I almost fainted, I was so fat! Now at size 18, I long for the days of a slim 12! Gotta keep up a good sense of humor.
I am eager to put together a meal plan for the coming weeks. I know that when I am really motivated, I have tremendous discipline and I hope that coming days and weeks will have me journaling positive things on this blog, just for me.
We are living exciting times. Times that allow us to be thin, fat, gay, straight or in between, to be working moms or stay home working moms…and that means that if I want to be thinner rather than accept the extra, cumbersome fat I carry around my small frame, then I can embrace that part of me too.
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