WW* asks us to answer the question: “What is your why?” to motivate us to think carefully and deeply about the reasons we want to undertake a serious weight loss program. My answer has been that I want the outside to look like the inside feels and that is mostly true. But at the same time, I would also like to continue to lose weight as a way to avoid illness in the future. We all know that losing even 5 lbs. helps improve our health, appearance and over-all well-being.
I am heading towards my 65th birthday in a few months. When I turned 60, I thought that I could use the next 5 years to lose weight, learn to play the guitar, hire a seamstress to custom make a Mariachi outfit for me, and get ready to have a great party with all my friends. 5 years went by very quickly. I did lose some of the weight and I did learn to play a bit of guitar. My mariachi singing dream, however, will probably be put on hold for many years to come. This whole Covid-19 pandemic reality has changed the way I now look at life, time and celebrations.
My childhood ambition was to be an entertainer. In the style of Danny Kaye and Bob Hope; funny and fun! I suppose all my life I have had this enormous desire to make people laugh, that is what I want my contribution to be and perhaps one of the reasons why singing with a Mariachi band was one of my ambitions. I recently accepted that being fat interferes with my ambition because I am self-conscious about pictures. I know nobody cares, but I care. This “caring” is purely personal. I remember how great it felt to look at pictures of myself when I was normal weight (for more than 20 years), in fact, I never focused on my figure, simply on what the activity was and who was around. These days I find myself posing behind others so that I can “hide” my excess flesh. I know it is no longer trendy to “diet” but frankly, I feel happy to again eat mindfully. I have concluded that making bad food choices at one meal (or several) does not mean throwing in the towel. I simply get back on a healthy track at the very next meal. I have no plans to crash diet ever again in my life. At 64, with a permanent slow metabolism, crash diets don’t make any sense.
The Covid-19 vulnerable conditions (age, obesity, chronic illness) make my resolve even stronger. I want to live for a very long time. With that in mind, I will prepare today’s healthy lunch!
*Formerly Weight Watchers