Call me old fashioned…I am! I love, love, love the idea behind weddings.
I think the commitment to work on a marriage after the glitter of the wedding
festivities is just a memory is a very sexy thing. In this modern world of
alternative ways to live ones life, I find that marriage is still something
that most young and old people strive to succeed at. Perhaps this is why despite
a failure or two, people continue to remarry. I am one of those people and have
so far succeeded in marriage #2! I am thankful I found “the one” and I am more
than confident, he feels the same way.
I recently attended a wedding that was more than 18 months in planning. Everything
was original, from the bridal party configuration to the wedding favors. Everyone
was happy; both families rejoicing in their children’s union and hoping for wonderful
things in the future. It was exactly what a wedding should be: the joining of two
completely different cultures with one single goal, to go forth in love and health.
May the happy couple and their families continue to be blessed.
Image of wedding cake: Bing.com public domain image
My desire to write has brought me at last to a place that is quiet and bereft
of distractions. I have been awake since 8 a.m. and it is only now (5:06 p.m.) that
I have actually stopped doing the busy work (checking emails, deciding what to have
for breakfast and lunch, taking out the pet in my care, etc.) and actually sat down
It is true what I heard not long ago, writing is an invisible job. No one knows you
are actually creating anything until it comes out and often it takes years before a
story is properly structured and can be read as a book.
Wish me lucK in this endeavour. I have left all my notes with my protagonist’s angst
safely stored in a place I cannot access it right now. What is that all about?
image: bing.com public domain image
Every morning after I wake up and begin my morning routine of breakfast, making the
bed, going to the pool to do my daily laps, I say my verses (prayers, if you will)
and trust that the day will unfold slowly and without distractions so that I can sit
in front of my computer and work on my writing. With very few exceptions, by the
time I actually am ready to face the day – that is showered, dressed and ready to
go out should it be necessary – I have lost the inspiration and the words that seem
to have come so easily while I was swimming! I wish I had a waterproof gadget that
could record the wildly complete and good paragraphs that vanish into thin air as
soon as I touch real life!
On Sunday mornings, I usually devote a good 3 to 4 hours writing my “inspiration” blog
that reaches about 200-300 people in my community. Although I don’t always feel the
inspiration, I think of that Sunday blog as my “job”, a self-assigned task that I have
committed to and have written for about 9 years. I use those 3 to 4 hours reading other
blogs, answering or reading new emails, listening to all kinds of music before I actually
write my first sentence. But in all the years I have done the blog, I have not failed a
single Sunday, a fact that actually surprises me and touches a bit on the kind of personality
I have. I am nothing if not responsible and I know that there are people who actually wait
until they have received and read my Sunday message before they actually begin their day.
I know this because people have often written to tell me or they stop me in the street to
share this important fact. I suppose that my writing for myself (or my book) does not carry
the same urgency I feel about the Sunday blog. I think it is time to change that and make
it a daily part of my routine. I suppose that is why I am writing here today…just to get
into the habit of writing more often. In my mind I have no writer’s block, it happens just
as I sit to actually write…
image from Bing.com public domain
Large, cute, fat round bird is the description of that clip art beginning this post!
It is definitely cute as am I except that I am a small, cute, fat round woman! I can’t
believe that I can actually write that and accept it as being the objective reality right
now of my physical manifestation. The inside of me feels exactly the same at this age and
weight as it did 40 years ago when I was normal weight and very young! Wow, it is so
refreshing to feel at peace with this, a new normal I hope to pursue.
I’ve been quite busy these days, helping my customers navigate the different processes
that allow them to remain permanent residents in the country. It is always fun to meet
new people who have other concerns on their mind besides whether or not I look the part
I am about to play in their lives (competent consultant!). It’s an incredible rush when
someone hugs me at the end of a complicated translation ordeal and tells me the words that
I have always responded to (more than money!) “I/We could not have done this without you!”
Although I know they could have (it would have taken longer, not been as much fun, etc.),
it is always nice to be acknowledged and recognized for having expertise in something.
From now on, I will stop pretending that my skills just came with me when my parents
“ordered” me from the stork. My skills are a result of my dedication, ability and desire
to help people. It’s been a great week!
Natalie Cole died in the first hours of 2016. Nothing could have made me sadder and
as I read the news I thought of all the things I say to myself when I feel I am not
perfect…little realizing how much rejection hurts.
Geneen Roth reminded me the other day (on a recording from a workshop I “attended”
five years ago) that it is vital to be grateful for every single moment we are granted
to breathe and live and have the opportunity to change our life. She says something like
what would the people who died today give for one more minute or one more day on earth?
Rest in peace Natalie, may you be reunited with all those you love up in heaven.
image of Natalie Cole, Bing.com
As I write my regular Sunday blog, I usually listen to music for meditation or
other relaxing, inspiring music. After I finish my writing, I browse the You Tube
channel for other kinds of music and let someone’s playlist go on for a while. Today
I happened to begin with Richard Marx and then the playlist segued to the gorgeous
voice of Whitney Houston. I felt at once exhilarated by what her voice was like and
incredibly saddened by what became of her. I could actually hear the deterioration
of her voice as the years went by and I am overcome by grief for the years her
destructive addictions robbed from her precious life…and her daughter.
When I was a child, I loved to sing, fancied myself a future chanteuse! My mom was
never fond of this idea saying singing was fine as a hobby but not something worth
entertaining as a career. Like the obedient child I was, I put the idea away but
continued to sing every chance I got. I married a controlling man many years my
senior when I was just 20. He didn’t like any singing and scolded me any time I
sang so I soon stopped and realized just some months ago that I have gotten completely
out of the habit of singing and that my voice (never anything special) is no longer
even what it once was. But I still can carry a tune and I think I should begin to
sing once again, even if only in the shower!
It’s the first day of Christmas! From where I sit, I can hear a radio playing and
a bird singing but the rest of the atmosphere is hushed and it doesn’t seem a bit
like the Christmases of the past. It has been a difficult year for me on many levels
but I have never been the kind of person to dwell on things so I guess this year will
be no different.
I look forward to 2016 with an optimism not matched by recent years. I anticipate many
new and exciting adventures and I am open to meeting new people and finally letting go
of others whose interests and leanings no longer reflect the person I am today.
For today, may I enjoy a day free of bad habits and in good health and good cheer.
I live in a tropical country where Christmas is celebrated in the ‘summer’.
Christmas carols in Latin American tropical countries are joyful, happy,
songs in stark contrast to the solemn traditional carols of the U.S. where
I spent most of my youth.
As I sit in my living room and look at the beautifully decorated Christmas
tree, I am conscious that today does not feel like Christmases of the past.
Perhaps it is because my children are not all here; our daughter is here but
she is heading to the beach in a few hours and our sons are still in the U.S.
and while one will arrive between now and the New Year, one son will remain
where he has been for the last few months.
My parents stopped putting up a Christmas tree after we were all gone from home
and I never thought the same would happen to us but I notice that every year
I take out less and less decorations because dismantling and putting things
aways is honestly a bit of a chore.
The real reason for celebrating Christmas (the birth of Jesus and the optimism
with which his arrival was met by people who lived at that time) will never change
whether I decorate or not and this makes me feel some comfort, at least some
traditions will never change.
I can’t say I’ve seen too many films with Elizabeth Taylor in them, but I can say
that she was one of my favorite movie stars, a celebrity who personified glamour for
me and who actually made me believe (when I was young) that if you did your best
to look “put together”, your days could be easier.
Ms. Taylor battled lots of demons in her life, not the least of which was the
fight she had with her food addiction. Despite that, though, she always looked
fantastic and I loved her attitude of perseverance and optimism.
It is not easy for anyone, famous or not, to constantly keep negative things at
bay. This Christmas I gave myself two gifts of jewelry, perhaps this is the first
time that I realize I actually really like jewelry even though I rarely wear it.
I used to before I had children and now that I can again because my children are
all grown-up, I feel like I have to have somewhere fancy to go to and don’t bother
because we live in a small, casual town.
For 2016, I am going to purge all the items in my closet that don’t fit, or that I
no longer find flattering. I intend to catalogue my jewelry and use some of the
closet space to put it away in. Then I will begin to select the items I want to
keep and the ones that I want to donate. That is one of my very achievable goals.
Marianne Williamson came to my attention years ago when her knowledge in A Course
in Miracles was featured everywhere you turned. Many years later, she wrote another
book applying the concepts of ACIM to weight loss. The book came into my life several
months ago and I was delighted but I confess I simply gave it a cursory reading and did
not do anything more. Yesterday as I was dusting off my nighttable, I realized that
I have so many books on the subject of weight issues, I could devote a whole bookshelf
to them! And still the weight lingers…
Ms Williamson states that she is not a food addict but that before she began studying
ACIM, she was a compulsive overeater. She mentions that after studying ACIM for a while,
the weight came off, almost on its own. I can relate to these words because there was a
time in my life when I became so focused on other things (work, night school, 12-step
programs, etc.) I did not spend time focusing on eating every minute. I am longing to
get back to that time and at least for this week, I am determined that I will eat like
a normal human being: when I am hungry and stopping when I am full…and naturally eating
healthy food and cutting out the junk.