I have been participating in NaNoWriMo and decided to write my memoir. It is amazing how the writing flows when the story has already played out. What I am most surprised about is the various segues that occur when writing about events in the past. I notice that my older sister comes up in my life so often I have to ask myself if I am writing her story or my own.
My sister’s behavior towards me starting in our childhood looms over me as I write. She passed away a year ago, unexpectedly at the age of 65. I feel like I had already grieved her passing because we had been estranged for a few years and I never expected that we would make peace, we were just so different, it was a difficult relationship for me. The funny thing is that I don’t think she ever saw it that way. In my writing yesterday, I was able to see that I had been emotionally battered by her all my life and that being a victim of emotional battering by several people was just a pattern I developed and felt comfortable with. I hope those days are over for me as I begin living my 65th year. I am a senior citizen now, writing is my current passion and I know that I need to start saying “NO!” to a lot of things so I can fully investigate and honor this creative side of my being.
My children seem to be thriving, that is the one big worry that is always in the back of my mind. I know that I need to trust that all the tools their father and I and their education have given them are enough to navigate the current chaos we live in but I still think it would be great if we could be physically much closer than we are currently. But we have all made our choices and fortunately we have a strong family connection that makes it possible to communicate often.
Writing in November in this structured way is a wonderful jump start to a lot of people hoping to write their novel. Why not believe that it is possible for me too?
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