The holidays are approaching (or here!) and celebrations abound everywhere
we look these days. Last night I attended a board meeting for the only
organization that I belong to these days and as a lovely surprise, we were
served a nice dinner for our ‘refreshment’…complete with a small slice
of homemade spice cake. As I sat eating my dinner, I was relieved that I
had not had anything to eat prior to arriving because it would have been
awful to turn down such a special and thoughtful treat, but also because I
would have felt so uncomfortably full and anxious about the extra calories.
Will it ever end, this endless focus on food and weight? During our repast,
I glanced over at one of our colleagues (who has lost a lot of weight in the
past few years) and noticed (unwittingly) that she ate quite a bit and repeated.
I asked myself why I was concerned with it and realized suddenly that I am often
focusing on the behavior or habits of others rather than keeping the focus on
myself. I was embarrassed, glad no one could read my shameful and judgmental
thoughts and promised myself to do better. As I write this now, I am filled
with determination that going forward, I will try to limit myself to paying
attention to what I am putting on my plate only!