I hope I didn’t make a mistake…I love muffins and I just finished eating
a delicious cranberry/orange muffin that was heavenly. I don’t get the
chance to do that often since I am not usually in the area where they bake
these items. I am visiting and couldn’t resist, I just hope my body does not
react to the ‘gluten’ as in the past. In the meantime, I will enjoy the memory
of what it tasted like.
My conscious decision in 1998 to move our family out of the city was very necessary
at the time. I could feel what the traffic, population, air quality, cement etc
were doing to my mood and I felt I could be a better mother in a different environment.
I don’t know whether I was a ‘better mother’ and I will never have a chance to figure
that one out because I can’t relive the experience in the city, but now my children
are adults, working or finishing up college and they decided to move back to the
city (can’t blame them, they are young) and when I visit I get to gauge how life
has become for them. I can see that my son is becoming cranky and while I can
appreciate that he has a lot going on in his life, I can also see that the lack of
green spaces (which he never appreciated before) are beginning to take their toll.
He is working, has a steady girlfriend and that part of his life is very stable.
I just hope he can work some things out in his mind so that the rest of the people
in his life (whom he loves and trusts) are not the ones who are on the receiving end
of his venting.
I have to really step up my commitment to the writing part of my life. I realize even
as I do it that I procrastinate by devoting time to weeding outside, to deal with the
tons of junk mail that is delivered on a daily basis. To just deal with the many
routines (recycling, clearing debris, housework, decluttering) that are not mine when
I am not here.
Still I am mostly a joyful person who appreciates life and sees value in all the things
that I do.